Those of you who thought Vegas was made for me - tacky city for the tacky woman - were wrong ! Even for me, Vegas have stepped over the line on tacky. I am wearing a flashing Holy Virgin Mary. And Simon has photographic evidence of action man Moses with detachable stone tablet and staff, and Jesus with bonus loaves and fishes.
And those who thought I am the one leading Simon astray needs to re-examine your flawed judgement because I am not the one who was chased and stopped by a police car with siren blaring; pulled into the casino car park; had to produce driving licence; had to riffle through leaflets for discount outlet stores, hot-babes-and/or-30”-pizza-delivered-to-your-door-24/7, eat-all-you-can-for-a-dollar, drink-a-guitar-filled-with-beer; etc etc, before locating the crumpled car hire papers, then charged with three citations, required to appear in court and probably now on the FBI most wanted list.
Where do I start ?
The fountains at Bellagio is wow wow and WOW. The jets sway like senoritas, dance like ballerinas and roar to the heavens like rockets, all totally synchronised to the music for all taste from classical to pop to the US anthem. One minute the fountain is jumping to Elton John, then the fountain stilled and began to fill with mist before the theme from the Titanic. The people who programmed the fountains and the lights are truly poets. I encourage you to go and be charmed.
Freddie Mercury belting out : “We will we will rock you” heralded the light show in the canopy covering the whole of Freemont Street. Lines of dancing girls flashed along the whole canopy, then morphed into clips from various Queen’s shows. The canopy became a huge elongated screen showing a lively beaty music video.
Every hotel has a casino and a shopping mall. The posh hotel such as the Bellagio and the Venetian showcase the brand names of the world; while the more modest ones such as Circus Circus and Treasure Island target customers looking for Vegas glitter T-shirts, playing card lighters and roulette ashtrays.
Everything is done to part you with your money. Slot machines offer all manner of chances from one cent to five hundred dollar a spin. Of course the five hundred dollar a spin machines are in special hushed rooms with deep armchairs and waitresses with even deeper cleavages.
Back in the communal area, cocktail waitresses, yes, only waitresses, circled offering endless drinks. The poor tipped a dollar, the rich tipped with five to five hundred dollar chips.
A very polite man at the poker machine next to mine struck up conversation and proceeded to enlighten me that croupiers and waitresses earn five dollar an hour, the minimum wage. However, they can make twice or three time more with tips. Hence the continuous call “cocktails ? cocktails ?” Clement somebody, he told me his name, is a conductor, he said. Used to live in Mississippi until the hurricane Katrina swept his home away, Along with his antiques and chandeliers. Upon moving to Vegas, they had nothing to do and his wife gambled away eighty five thousand dollars. During her gambling, she won and lost nine hundred thousand dollars. Then he had to go to dinner and a show, compliments of the casino as they are such good customers. All the time, I wondered why Clement, with his chandeliers, won and lost nine hundred thousand, was sitting at the one cent poker machine ??
Simon touched the lion’s paws at the MGM casino, abet the roof of the glass tunnel was between Simon’s hand and the lion’s paws, and both lions were asleep with their trainers posing on a nearby rock. Who said open neck shirt, hairy chest and gold medallions are dead - they are alive and well in Vegas. So are the Dolly Parton big blonde wig and breasts. My hair remained in about the same place when I stepped off the New York New York roller coaster. The same cannot be said for Simon. His hair stood on ends and yes, there is photographic evidence.
I would be remiss not to mention the eat-all-you-can buffets. At the top end, the Bellagio takes nineteen dollars so you can eat giant mountains of shrimps, meat from ribs, to steak to veal, fishes we have never heard of - Simon loved the BlueNose. Desserts were literally endless. Plates and plates and plates of chocolate related items, cream cakes in all varieties, even bread and butter pudding, and some custard looking gooey high fat high cholesterol pudding. Ice creams of every flavour of course. A large salad section which I totally ignored, except for the juicy water melons which were placed on that section. There was Chinese vegetables cooked to perfection, delicious miso soup and never-ending sushi. Simon had three plates of dinner and three pudding. I did not quite match that but made up with huge quantity of water melons, cream cakes and coffee.
Flying over the Grand Canyon can only be described by personal experience. No picture can capture the grandiose and no words can express the majesty .So I urge you all to fly over the Canyon and to sit and ponder on the rim. The journey has inspired me to see the other wonders.
Looking out across the vast Canyon, formed by nature through millions of years; seeing people like tiny dots, the Grand Canyon has taught me to let go of my obsession to “save” everyone. One life is truly insignificant against eternity. It is presumptuous of me to assume responsibility to make meaning for others. Meaning can only come from one’s own making.
I also need to re-write my Will because I need the boys to divide my ashes between Loch Lomond and the Grand Canyon. At this rate, with more travelling and my gullibleness at the slightest magnificent location, Jason and Jonathan will need a round the world ticket to drop a table spoon of me all over the world.
Life is such a wonderful adventure !
